Swiping through friends’ dating apps gives me a legal high.

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What bothers me the most is the fact that I’m not given a chance.” Research on the subject highlights one unfortunate fact: Black women are the lowest on the online-dating totem pole.

An oft-cited Ok Cupid study from 2014 backs this up.

“Eighty-two percent of non-black men on Ok Cupid show some bias against black women,” Christian Rudder, co-founder of Ok Cupid, wrote in a blog post analyzing the data.

She’s tried out Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid, and

Listening to her experiences makes me want to set something on fire.

Christian has seen profiles declaring that they’re interested in every race except black women, and someone once told her “her kind” wasn’t “good enough to date.” Another guy said he’d “always wanted to try a black girl” because rumor had it we’re like “sexual toys.” “I cried that night [after I got that message],” says Christian.

“All I want is to date a respectable, professional man of any color who loves me with all my chocolate skin and rolls.

They see my delight in swiping, an activity most of them find boring or even disheartening at this point, as refreshing.

But I’ve never actually been on a dating app as myself, a black woman. Yes, online dating seems fun from where I’m standing, but I think doing it as a woman of color would damage my faith in humanity.

Of course, women of all races have to deal with BS online. But women of color lack that extra race-based privilege, which can cause some mind-bogglingly stupid reactions from people in the online dating world.

“As a plus-size black woman attempting to find a suitable mate or at least a date, the results can be pretty sad,” Christian S., 30, a Dallas, Texas-based fitness blogger and the creator of The Plush Cyclist, tells SELF.