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Our moms teach us the classic “a man’s love goes through his stomach,” so prepare for opulent dinners of ?

Well, that absolutely applies to us, Bulgarians, too.

God forbid you ever married your Bulgarian girlfriend, because you’ll be partying for 3 days straight with your new brothers and sisters-in-law, cousins, aunts, uncles and nephews.

You’ll be dancing nights away, followed by photographers and an accordion band, and the whole thing will cost you less than $5,000 because the BGN is at a rate begging to be bought.

Caution: if you’re an only child you should be especially weary about getting serious with your Bulgarian girlfriend!

Were you to become engaged to her, you’re also making a commitment to her parents, siblings and cousins, so you’ll never have a minute alone between pounding shots of by her great aunt and hunting with her dad at the woods of Golyam Varbovnik.

You’ll often look at your girl and wonder what thoughts whirl behind those pretty green eyes.

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