Dating men who are recently divorced
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick!Some forums can only be seen by registered members. I dated a newly divorced guy and it was a disaster from the get-go. From a first-hand perspective - when I was newly divorced, all I cared about was having fun and enjoying my new-found freedom.After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads. Most have so many other things (emotionally/mentally) they need to deal with first. The very last thing on my mind was a relationship with any kind of substance.
Well, that is because he wants to be with someone and then something reminds him of what a relationship brings. So this guy may have honestly thought he WAS ready to move on... After divorce, many people are desperate for comfort, for having that cozy couple-y feeling again and to not let the divorce side-track their life.
Consequently, many jump into relationships before they're truly ready, often without even realizing it.
The thing of it is, I don't think it's a good idea to have a false relationship, or to pretend that things are okay when they're not.
You guys were dating in a normalish fashion and then he freaked out and backed way off.
Eventually what you have right now will just fizzle.
I would tell him nicely that you really like him, understand he's not ready, and that you're looking for something that can eventually grow to be serious.
Tell him that if/when he's spent some time processing and is ready to date seriously again, he can give you a call.
Common sense says that this guy is NOT ready to date, not yet.
Continuing to date, just dating less doesn't make much sense to me because I don't think it addresses the issue.
This guy needs to take some time off, evaluate where he is, get his head in a better place as a single guy and then when he's truly READY to be in a relationship, start pursuing a relationship once again.
If he keeps quasi-dating you while offering "nothing serious" he will never get the space and distance needed to clear his head and be ready to be a real partner.