Dating advice ignored
But if you are dealing with insecurities that are merely annoying, here are five questions to ask yourself: 1. It never hurts to examine your own behavior in search of emotional land mines you may be unwittingly placing in your partner’s path.
Just about anyone who has felt the rush of falling in love would agree that the experience is like being strapped into an amusement park thrill ride — a swirling blend of conflicting emotions.
Excitement and anticipation compete with a little trepidation at being in the grip of forces beyond one’s control.
But for many people, ordinary apprehension of the unknown grows into full-blown fear.
For them, the psychological and emotional stakes in the relationship feel sky high, and the outcome is weighted with all sorts of implications about their own well-being and self-image.
Do you talk about past partners more than you should? Many people respond to jealousy or neediness in a partner by expecting them to simply “get over it.” Not only is that approach uncharitable, it isn’t practical either.
Be honest and be ready to make appropriate changes. Insecurities are usually fueled by painful memories that are untouched by efforts to prod or shame them into silence.Self-examination is the necessary medicine, not self-discipline. As medical research has demonstrated for years, the power of touch is a tremendous aid in healing from all sorts of wounds, physical and emotional.This fear — which takes the form of jealousy or clinginess — is generally a reflexive response to emotional trauma in past relationships, including with parents, siblings, and former lovers.Old wounds prevent one from feeling secure in the present, in spite of contrary evidence.Insecure behavior lies along a broad spectrum, from mild peevishness to full-blown panic attacks.If your partner falls on the extreme end of that scale, professional counseling is probably in order.